New year dilemma

January 8th, 2008 11:01 am by TheHumanBot

I was shocked.

When you told me that you like her more than I, I was shocked. I could not think of anything she could have done to win over your heart. Because I know myself how much I tried. And then I realized I cannot win in this game.

Maybe I was selfish
.

At dawn, I thought about it clearly. I could think because I was not crying anymore. Maybe I was selfish. I was not letting you go to the person whom you loved. I was the obstacle right there, blocking your way. If I cannot have the person I love, then at least the person whom I love should have the one he loves. Right?

I wanted to let you go
.

I love you only for 7 months and you have loved her for more than a year. Maybe I should sacrifice so I wanted to let you go to her. This could be the best way to solve our problem yet it will take a year to forget our lingering memories. I prayed. I did not get the answer.

But we were happy.

I found myself having a lovely time with you over the weekend. One will not believe us that we have such a big problem. I realized if we try, we can still make a better relationship. And i know it just needs a little time. I want it to grow like a beautiful wild flower but for that we need to water it from time to time.

I was scared to hate you
.

You have hurt me. That’s for sure and i don’t know when I will be back to normal. And when you asked me whether I want to come back to You, I was confused. But the answer can be ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Looks simple but it is not. If I say ‘no’ then I am going hate you for the rest of my life, which is the last thing I ever wanted to do. But if I say ‘yes’, I will take time to love you like before. But I finally made my decision and I will stick to it no matter what.

Wrong decision
?

And then suddenly I realised myself hearing a rude and an unlovely voice coming from the other end of the line. And I was crying uncontrollably. Was my decision wrong? ‘Oh God! Another big mistake!!’. But I promised I will not change it anymore. If I have to suffer I will, till you throw me completely out of your life.

The answer.

So I stayed awake late night, thinking what I should do about this. I prayed twice before I slept. When I got up in the morning, the first song that came to my mind was, β€œHrehawmna i chungah lo thlen fo se la, ‘ka thatna tur a nih hi’ tiin ngai la” and then I keep singing the song. I stopped when I sang the other verse, “Mihring siam that nan khawdur a ngai a ni.” I could feel my tears coming out of my eyes.

We were too compatible in my ways to let go our relationship so this problem is a sign and a plan from above to rebuild and mold us in exactly the way we should be. I wanted to accept this fact now. You sacrificed for me leaving her and I chose to stay with you. Let’s stick to our decision and keep praying. Maybe we’ll find the answer.

Written by an undisclosed author. Slightly modified from it’s original form.

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7 Responses to “New year dilemma”

  1. 1
    Vladimir Putin Says:

    Not bad, not bad at all

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  2. 2
    Fistbone Says:

    But we were happy.

    I found myself having a lovely time with you over the weekend. One will not believe us that we have such a big problem. I realized if we try, we can still make a better relationship. And i know it just needs a little time. I want it to grow like a beautiful wild flower but for that we need to water it from time to time.

    Ahh!! this touch ma heart!!

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  3. 3
    Jess_4eva Says:

    I wonder who is undisclosed author?

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  4. 4
    Jess_4eva Says:

    When you told me that you like her more than I, I was shocked. I could not think of anything she could have done to win over your heart. Because I know myself how much I tried. And then I realized I cannot win in this game.

    A tha ltk, a tha ltk…

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  5. 5
    zohnahthlaklanu Says:

    aw…edit loh a chhiar a va chakawm ve aw!!! ngaihnawm hle mai a!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Undisclosed author, ka va ngaisang che ve aw!!!

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  6. 6
    Thinknice Says:

    This comes from the heart. If you cant respond and re claim her Buddy, u r going to loss the greatest gift in this world and it will never come to you again.I know her and she,s worth everything, so dont let me down cause she is a Goddess in human forms):

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  7. 7
    Thinknice Says:

    I thought i know her, but she,s not the one that i think who she is.Anyway i think this girl has a heart and she seems a very dedicated one. I wish someone could give me like this.

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