Working in a medical transcription company, we come across so many funny dictations by doctors/physicians. There’s one guy (maybe from US) who collects those bloopers and put it in a website.
I want to share those dictations with y’all. But I’m not going to quote the website coz I want to keep it myself…hehehe…. so that I can keep on posting new bloopers in the future. Here we go:
“The next patient’s name is Doe, John…. I’m not sure which is the first name and which is the last name, although I would imagine Doe would be the last name, unless it’s John.”
“She is ambulatory with her father at discharge, who happily sucks a popsicle.”
“Also, on his right hand he has a left thumb dislocation.”
“She had difficulty completing simple calculations. For example, when I asked her what 3 times 3 plus 1 equals, she said ‘ten'”.
“That’s Catherine with a ‘C’, spelled k-a-t-h-e-r-i-n-e.”
“She is able to raise her shoulders above her head without difficulty.”
“Her breasts look beautiful. I will follow her for one month.”
“This is a well-developed gentleman who is obviously pregnant.”
“His upper teeth, if he had them, feel normal.”
“This is a well-developed elderly female. She is oriented to the year, and unsure of where she is. She is unsure of the president, but mentions Hulk Hogan as a possibility.”
“…..where was I? I can’t remember where I was….. oh yeah, I was in the rectum.”
“The patient’s gait is normal. I am able to stand on her toes.”
“The patient comes in because she wants to get pregnant.”
“This 50-year-old teacher is undergoing polysomnogram because of daytime sleepiness and difficulty staying asleep while teaching.”
“This is an evaluation of an 11-year-old girl who suffered a fall while ice skating today on her left wrist.”
“Please make a copy of my office.”
“She sometimes has difficulty initiating her legs to start a walk.”
“Sterile dressing was applied and the knee was sent to the recovery room in good condition.”
“He is an occasional smoker, smoking ten packs of cigarettes a day for the past 19 years.”
“Pelvic and rectal were not examinated.”
“No shlurred speeth.”
“First name Victor, spelled V as in Victor….”
“Preoperative diagnosis: Unexplained abdominal pain in the knee.”
“Duration of illness is probably at least since he became ill.”
“He denies falling asleep while driving during meals.”
“Patient has been married for 30 years, living at home with husband, and in the past has had dogs, cats, and children as pets.”
“He is married with two spouses, ages 12 and 9.”
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