Debate | Working Women vs. Housewives

February 2nd, 2007 4:53 pm by Goldmember

A friend and I were having this argument – people may consider me a reverse MCP (male chauvinistic pig) so I apologize in advance! (i eat like a pig but thats another topic altogether)

The debate : Should highly educated women work or stay at home and look after the family?

My argument: I would prefer to have a wife who worked rather than one who stayed at home. Apart from the fact that it adds to the family income (yeah im greedy) it also adds to the self esteem of the woman; Plus what is the use if a woman studies a lot (im talking high levels of education here . Postgraduates onward) and then just becomes a housewife? If a woman only stays at home her world becomes so narrow; its gonna be just housework kids etc and could get kinda tedious and it will be such a huge waste of the investment made by her parents on her education.

My friend’s argument (a female): she said – no even if a woman is highly educated her primary responsibility in life is to look after her family. This can be done effectively only if she has a high level of education. A happy home is one where the woman stays at home and looks after her kids/family 24 hours and 7 days a week. Additionally she would be well equipped to teach the kids at home too.. (homework assignments etc) ; And in the unfortunate event that the husband passes away then she can put her education to use and get a job to support the family (this point I agree on and which i feel on some level supports my argument :) )

Your opinions on this would be great!

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44 Responses to “Debate | Working Women vs. Housewives”

  1. 1
    Sandman Says:

    people may consider me a reverse MCP

    hehe it’s a waste of time bro. All women call all men MCPs no matter how you try to justify yourself :-D

    now lets see the smart ass replies like “thats b’coz all men are indeed MCPs”. Bleh. :-P

    Will join in on the debate after chow time… Its a good topic.

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  2. 2
    J Says:

    I suppose it’s a matter of personal choice so I don’t think anyone should dictate to anyone else what they should or shouldn’t do. But one thing I’ve noticed is that the more highly educated a person, whatever gender, they tend to get more complex and complicated. And I don’t think a highly educated, mentally complex woman would be really happy living within the confines of a very narrow environment, looking after the husband and kids 24/7. If the husband’s the understanding type who comes home from work and helps out with the kids and chores, and lets her have some breathing space that’s different. Or unless she’s the type that genuinely enjoys being a hausfrau. Otherwise I can’t imagine why any self-respecting highly educated woman would choose to just stay at home and let all that she worked for just go to waste.

    PS I think life10’s take on this would be interesting.

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  3. 3
    Sandman Says:

    Apart from a matter of personal choice that J mentioned above, I think it also depends on the situation. IMHO, “both parents working” scenario works best when the kids are sent to a boarding school for their education, or if there are enough house helps (awmpui, nau awmtu, rawng bawltu, driver etc etc) in the house…. ofcourse it can work out too without all that, but I’m sure the whole process of bringing up children with both parents working is more oiled up than without any househelp around.

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  4. 4
    Goldmember Says:

    yeah J i agree wid you.. a highly educated woman’s thought process is more complicated :) (..which is bad for men cuz women by nature are already so hard to figure out…)

    i think the decision to stay at home will be most likely enforced on her rather than it being her choice. when i say enforced i wud say that her current situation doesnt give her a choice for employment etc etc…

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  5. 5
    Me Says:

    Mr. Goldmemba… family planning lam te rilru ah awm deuh tawh mi? i thil lo post hiiii…hehe…Keichu i ngiahdan khi a dik ka ti khop mai.Mahse pasal neih ve hun chu…fa te kan nei anih chuan ka thil tih theih anih poh ka ring lo.Hmeichhe rilru ah chuan chhungkua an pawimawh em a.Mahse fa te len ve deuh hun chuan hna thawh a thra ka ti.

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  6. 6
    Me Says:

    Mr. Goldmemba… family planning lam te rilru ah awm deuh tawh mi? i thil lo post hiiii…hehe…Keichu i ngiahdan khi a dik ka ti khop mai.Mahse pasal neih ve hun chu…fa te kan nei anih chuan ka thil tih theih anih poh ka ring lo.Hmeichhe rilru ah chuan chhungkua an pawimawh em a.Mahse fa te len ve deuh hun chuan hna thawh a thra ka ti.

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  7. 7
    HJ Says:

    Next Election chu Hillary Clinton a tling dawn ang ka ring…chuan…..abak chu…kan rawn lipse vek ang. Anyway…ka point tak zawk chu…Hmeichhia in a tih tur chin leh chin loh sawi vak hi ka hne tawh…Mimal duh danah in nghat teh se….:D

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  8. 8
    Goldmember Says:

    HJ ka beng ang che aw…kan la sawi dawn chauh.. i in la feminist ltk. :)

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  9. 9
    SiLent_Man Says:

    Fate tet deuh lai chuan nu tan chuan hnathawh chu har deuh maithei. sikul kal rual te an nih tawh chuan naupang sikul kal se puitlingin hna thawk se. Hnathawh tih hian inbula dawr nghah pawh a huam. Tlaiah naupang dawngsawng hmana haw a chhungkuaa awm leh thrap mai tur. Nilai zan inkhawm velah pawh an buaipui ber chu kristian chhungkaw chungchang a ni leh tho.

    Bakah hnathawk kan tih tamtak ai hian housewife hian an thawk hnem daih ang.

    Ka’n ti ta duah a… housewife hi ka tuina lam a nia

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  10. 10
    3d-lover Says:

    I dont like highly educated women…

    They make me feel stupid (which i am, but you dont have to tell me)..lol

    As for working women, yes they should work towards raising kids. hehehe

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  11. 11
    HJ Says:

    I am not a feminist i am womanist… western culture hrin chhuah ai chuan midum ho culture in a hrin chhuah hian min hneh zawk a nih hi…

    3d-lover confession chu mipa ho khan in tawmpui vek hial lo maw….
    They make me feel stupid (which i am, but you dont have to tell me)..lol

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  12. 12
    Pickles... Says:

    hehe.. keichu hna ka thawk pah ang. Fa te tetdeuh laiin leave ka la ang a…hihi

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  13. 13
    ammi Says:

    hmeichhe tan chuan in lama eisek rek khoih leh uluk taka fate enkawl tluka hlu a om in ka hre lo …. hehehe fate len deuh hnu ah te chuan hna thawk leh tho ila….boring dawn lutuk nilenga in a thut kumkhua ringot chu ka a thei ang keichu hehehehe ……kan pa tur thu thu ti ve ngot ila lol

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  14. 14
    J Says:

    Vanneihthlak takin mipa zawng zawngin 3d-lover ngaihdan “I dont like highly educated women…They make me feel stupid…” tih hi an tawmpui lo hlauh!
    Phew, 3 cheers for all those guys who actually prefer us with all our certificates & bags under our eyes from all the endless swotting :D

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  15. 15
    G-Wiz Says:

    Sounds like your girl popped the question on you! You lie, no? :D

    I’m all for working women. It helps when you both work in the same company. My manager and his assistant manager wife worked their way up together. Quite an awesome twosome. I wonder if the dynamics of the relationship would be different if it were my assistant manger and his manager wife. Do they compete? Hell, yes!

    When kids enter the equation, I think you’d need either grandparents or day care to kick in to balance things out. At most, either mom or dad could give up their career for two to three years, in turns, before day care can kick in. But yes, both husband and wife should work so that they can give their kids the best. More so if the wife is well educated.

    Of course, different inputs would change the equation completely. Like the wife being a fortunate heiress, no matter how educated. :)

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  16. 16
    F_E Says:

    Me Says soi kha a dik ka ti lutuk, hmeichhe rilru ah chuan chhungkua an poitmoh lutuk a (i aint sayin its not the same for guys),mipa poh-hmeichhia poh kan ngaihpoi moh zong a in ang lo a,kan vei zong a in ang bok lo a,keimah ni nih na ang-ang in chhungkua chu kan ngai poimoh theuh.. Nahse, mizir sang lutuk lo house-wife neih aih chuan, zir sang house-wife chuan eng kong ah poh a pasal chu a tihhlim zok ka ring. Entir na, khovel lo thangchho zel ah,a knowledge a up-to-date vel nghal zung2 thei anga,a fa te enkol dan leh nungchang poh lehkha zirsang vak lo ai chuan a poh chakzok daih anga, a pasal hnathok sang alo nih phei chuan,a pasal ti-ti,a hna etc a tompui in a hriat thiam sak thei zel anga. Pasal will never run out of clean-socks, pasal zok hna a thok a,a nupui house-wife a nih chuan,family atmosphere poh a lo om thei zok in a nung thei zok anga, pasal leh nupui hna an thok ve2 ai chuan an chhung kua chu CHHUNGKO LUM nun an enjoy zok ka ring.. nupui hnathok ka soi sel lo, mahse well-educated house-wife alo nih a advantage awm thei tlem te ka lo soi ani, mahse a top ber atan chuan, a mimal duh thlan na a la ni tho2 :-)

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  17. 17
    myself Says:

    an comment chhiar zuai, chhiar sei zel dawn chuan ngaihdan an that hmak mai tak in …………

    hetiang topic a rawn awm hi a lawm awm khawp mai…mahse in hnial na tawp thei lo tur anih hmel a…in adjust chu a ngai khawp mai tu ate pawh…..

    naute an pian in mipa in hnute an pe ngai lova..hmeichhe pek ngai ani…….mipa in pe tawh rawh se tih a thlak danglam theih ani lo…………

    hnathawk chung a an tih theih leh theih loh chu an thawh pui te nen an inrem siam thiam leh thiam loh ani tawh mai a……….mipa in ka lo pe ve tawh zawk ange tih theih hek loh le……….a enkawl zui chu nu leh pa thiamdan ani mai a………..

    ti daih ila bill clinton leh hillary rodham clinton (clinton tih hi a dah duh lawk lo an tia) in kar a piang ah chuan chelsea hi a hmel a dang lutuk inti ve deuh lo maw?……………….hillary clinton hian chawlh ala ve angem aw a sen laiin? breast milk te dawng ve tak maw?//!!!!!!!!!!!

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  18. 18
    Sandman Says:

    G-Wiz wrote:
    My manager and his assistant manager wife worked their way up together. Quite an awesome twosome

    Thats a fairy tale come true dream most parents would kill for, to work in the same company, or atleast in the same city. Many of my school and college friends who are now married live seperately after marriage because of their jobs! The husband usually fly to the other city to spend every weekend with his wife. Kinda tough… and I do know quite a few women who quit their jobs because of such hassles, one such example was my senior from IIMB who was earning above 10.5 per year but quit that job because of her husband. But fortunately her husband’s earning around 20 so.. no problemo :-)

    By the way G-Wiz, during the Chaltlang Bial KTP Conference, I met my cousin aka YOUR MOM, and she told me to give you a lecture! Seriously! :-D

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  19. 19
    3d-lover Says:

    @ J….I also am scared of women with bags under their eyes. bwahahahaha

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  20. 20
    Imnobody-Whoareu Says:

    I applaud the many women who chooses to stay home and take care of the family, being a homemaker is very challenging, taking care of kids is not an easy task, washing one’s husband’s dirty socks is ugh! so I’d rather leave all that to the respective profesionals ;) so.. to each her own..more power to women all over the world..don’t let society dictate you

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  21. 21
    Ceeyy Says:

    I would prefer highly educated housewife over working wife. Imagine how dominant the latter would be, in case the husband does a decent job, or even worse he is unemployed!!! Mihring nihphungah chuan nupui chu fate enkawl a, in uap lum tur an ni a lawm. Hei chu mimal ngaihdanah thui tak a innghat ang. I nupui kha nang aiin lo hlawh tam zawk ta se, nangma inchhung ngeiah khan i ti dui mai lovang maw..??? A nih loh leh i zirsanna te chhawr bawk lovin (i mean ‘unemployed’) ‘housewife’ ni ta la, i hlutna kha a nep phah sawt kherin i ring em..??? My manager and her husband (who is also a manager) work in the same company. But i wonder whether they live a happy family at home.
    Ngaihtuah neuh neuh tur a tam ngawt ang………

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  22. 22
    methinks Says:

    …….. i can see from the above comments that there are two schools , where one (some men??) believes a woman should stay at home BECAUSE that’s what her role is (biologically???); to take care of the kids , do the chores , etc…. and that they would be intimidated if he has a wife who is more educated/paid more etc…. (these show how MCP they are first and last!!!) and the other school (most ladies , i guess , naturally??) advocates the woman in question to work or not to work is by her own free will ………….

    now , according to me , a mother should work IF she has been in office before marriage coz if she is educated enough she, of course , would have calculated beforehand what she needs to compromise in her married life and here, her WORK should be the last thing she should give up !! ( i hope there’s no confusion here ie., i am not talking about some women who do not work even while still single for whatever reason ,which we are not discussing about)

    Having said that , however , its also circumstantial too, whether she keeps her job depends on the kind of job/profile/field she is in . For example , a mother who spends more time on balance sheets / laptops / client visits/meetings to different cities might need to compromise on it , BUT again , only TEMPORARILY … maybe a year off after which a day-care comes into picture ( dont assume here though , that i am cold-hearted ,coz if you ASSuMe , you know what happens…). And i think quiting a job should not even come into the picture specially if she is in Aizawl (lucky her) due to flexibility they enjoy there (dont need to stress here cos i believe everyone knows what i am talking about) as compared to working in an international set-up .

    So, by all means , a wife should keep her job (a little adjusment here or there might be needed which is alright) , period !
    ( here,ngaihdan a lo kalmai thei , tu te rilru amohah cuan , like , ‘an hausa tho a thoh kher a ngai hle nem’ , ‘ an pa’n a chom zo tho a lom/sia ‘ , ‘an fate poh enkol hman lo khop a nupa-pa a thoh / ‘inchhung luahlum lo’ type of comments .. hetia soi ho hi cu , eng lai po’n an om don tho a eng chungchangah poh , not necessarily on this Topic , so , best practice of this kind of mentality is : IGNORE them . Khovel om chhung cuan heng ho ‘gossipperatti’ hi cu an om don…..)

    I would like to clarify that , saying a ‘wife should work’ doesnt mean that , if she didnt , i feel ,her life long education and time/money invested have been flushed into the toilet . far from it . After years of women’s emancipation (didnt particularly like the ‘bra-burning era,though, ) and gender-equality advocated in all constitutions of democratic countries, its only fair , that she continues to do what she has been doing , before and after marriage , coz if a MAN can do it , so can a WOMAN ..

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  23. 23
    life10 Says:

    umm lots different opinions on this..cant speak for others…and am not here to convert anyone so..i can just say what i feel.umm..i find the recent bill /law passed (still discussing it, the last i heard) by the Synod on how a synod pastor`s wife should not work!! distasteful to say the least!! i feel these decisions shud be personal and not dictated by soceity or the church or whatever.i gave up a job i loved, which gave me a lot of job satisfaction ,because i wanted to be with my husband and wanted my kid to be with both parents, as my job was in aizawl and my hubs outside mizoram.i loved my years staying at home ,being a home- maker.i also loved my 5 years when i was working. and now i think the long sabatical i took , i think almost 6 or 7 years is enough and i wanna go back to work.do what makes you happy.there is no “better” or “best” in this.an educated, well-read woman makes a good home maker but if her heart isnt happy she wont be the best mother…likewise if u are in a job u dont love, u wont be too productive at it.and for a woman..or a man or a mother,or a single girl..its good to be intellectually stimulated,and also financially independent. .u`ll be confident and..less frustrated and less nagging ..and thats good for everyone ..:) for me i loved my time when i worked…but i dont regret the `giving-up-the-job’ part ,cuz i loved being a home maker too and being with my kids…and now..kids are in school and i am free from morning to evening,cuz they are at school anyway(one reason why i write such long posts like this lolzz) i get bored.i need to work again …i`m planning to ..umm if i get something i really wanna do that is..umm one thing is for sure..you cant compare the euphoria u feel at the end of the month when u get ur hard earned pay -check to the warm loving feeling you feel when your child splatters a wet kiss on ur made-up face and say”anu/mommy you make the best doll dress in the world!!”…its EQUALLY euphoric!!! lol..so working mother or not working…no `better’ or `best’…both are great. If u are happy…u can be a great mom working and a lousy mom even if u stay home…

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  24. 24
    J Says:

    As an independent working woman, I totally agree that the Synod hassle over pastors’ wives being preferred not to be govt employees sounds grossly medieval. But there’s a basis for it, so I’m told… like every time the transfers are chalked out (and pastors are sposed to have just 5 year terms in one placement), the powers that be are requested/begged to allow some to be placed in so and so place because their wives have jobs there etc etc. Quite a headache that I can imagine.

    But let’s not get off the track here… I think Goldy’s talking specifically about women with specialised educational skills, and not just working women in general. Maybe some doctor popped him the question :D

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  25. 25
    life10 Says:

    oooookkkkkkkayyyy!!! thats why the whole debate !!! lolzzz j ..frankly i`m surprised someone as suave and “in” as gawldy would even think twice about issues such as this!!!gawldy u can clinch whatever nagging thoughts with this i think….umm working women are more confident usually and hence are better in bed hahahhahaha that shud clinch the deal for u lolzzzz

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  26. 26
    myself Says:

    its not about lakhs.or so income………….all the married people i have knowned so far , who are separated due to job, the only thing they told me was” it is the quantity of time you spend together , not the quality after marriage”

    after all , everyone grows old, life of “one become one” should be from the day one…………thats my conviction………its ur life…not ur son or daughter…….

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  27. 27
    Anonymous Says:

    Sap tronga ziah tur ni maw?

    Matter of ability, and choice, if you have one.
    Some can balance life and work.
    Some cannot – even people without any dependents.
    Again the fuzzy area which says how much tilt to one side would work best, all things considered.

    So all ‘mentally complex’ (sic) women – Think!

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  28. 28
    bawmgboy Says:

    Nia tiro!!!

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  29. 29
    Funky to Fabulous Says:

    Hi!

    great blog :) I love the topic of this post. I think everyone has a good point to contrbute, however, it all comes down to an individual’s preference.

    Check out my blog!

    http://www.funkytofabulous.blogspot.com

    thanks,

    Funky to Fabulous

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  30. 30
    tetey Says:

    lots of guys are looking out for a girl who cud earn n support the fly dis dayz… heheheh!!! i don kno the reason behind this :P maybe they wanna be a house husband cough! cough! sounds so odd lol!! watever.. its male`s responsibilities to work and support his family… if his wife work too it will add the income n more financial security heheh if not than.. still the same cos he still got the best manager at home who work as a house wife..

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  31. 31
    Goldmember Says:

    @life10 since ure not a working woman.. (i heard u hardly work as opposed to working hard…) i can assume ure not good in what you say working women are good at

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  32. 32
    J Says:

    Ouch… careful Goldy, you might get hit on the head with a dahlia :P

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  33. 33
    life10 Says:

    gawldy i know u`d love to find out for yourself…..but sorry i`m a good christian and believe in monogamy..hahahha

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  34. 34
    Goldmember Says:

    even good christians married twice over.. look at the Bible for instance..! so whaddaya say now!

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  35. 35
    life10 Says:

    are u proposing??? hahahhahahahhaha

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  36. 36
    Goldmember Says:

    um no.. im just diverging from the topic since u seemed to associate Christianity with monogamy… im jus pointing out that in Biblical times Bigamy was not frowned upon. :)
    even if u wer the last woman on earth and the future of the human race depended on it..i wudnt marry you.

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  37. 37
    life10 Says:

    whew!!! thats a relief!! lolzz….so we can remain good frens then? without me scared of u eyeing my big butt muahh sweetheart

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  38. 38
    myself Says:

    life10 u meant “monogamy or monotony?” lolzzzzzzzzzzz plizz clarify ur solid stand………hehehehhe

    Goldmember ” in old testament all the patriach have sex with more than one woman in the bible except Isaac”……….it is there in the bible……………..but those are in old testament and not in new testament………..
    we can not compare our society with the society who made the ajanta cave sculpture……………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  39. 39
    myself Says:

    germany a survey an neih a……70% personal clerk anga thawk , hmeichhe pasal nei ho in an boss te nen sex an hmang tih te ania………………news report ania a dik nge dik lo chu a hriat chuang loh a……. an news paper hralh hnem khan an tum ber chu ani dawn bawk sia……….

    mahse “monotony” chu ni thleng lo se la lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  40. 40
    J Says:

    life10, Goldy usually writes stuff online in secret code cause even the walls have eyes on his wide world web. So when he says no he usually means YES!!!

    Just a lil trade secret there ;)

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  41. 41
    oouhh Says:

    ehem

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  42. 42
    SkiznOd Says:

    The actual experience of a married life esp. with kids, may change your outlook/opinion on a broader sense.

    We are, by nature, ‘Selfish” and being selfish does influence a lot of our decision-making. A lot depends on our economic background too.

    A ‘Wife’ may choose to work (inlcuding self-employment) out of her own passion for the line of work, or may be working simply to make ends meet.

    For me, I would rather have maximum involvement of both parents in bringing up their children. Here, I believe the role of the mother is more intense and her involvement (or non-involvement) is more likely have a stronger impact on the child’s development.

    Fairly menial chores at home could be left to domestic servants, if one can afford them (If you can’t, get help from relatives!).

    There are lots of non-working mothers who spend more time for social activities (which soon becomes ‘obligations’) compared to the time they spend with their children. For children, any time spent with parents is quality time (except in certain severe cases where the parents are inebriated and are prone to display unpleasant behaviour etc)

    My point being, a mother should work if she has to/wants to but should try spend as much time she can with her kids.
    If her commitment(s) at work should in any way hamper her child’s mental/emotional/physical development, I suggest she quit her job instead of sending the child off to a shrink.

    The role of the mother cannot quite be substituted by the father.

    Well, it gets even more complicated with same sex marriages!!

    :-P

    Etc.,

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  43. 43
    SkiznOd Says:

    I missed ‘to’ twice! ……. :(

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  44. 44
    rk_3184 Says:

    “i think women should not just sit at home with all the certificates she has earned…” hat was a comment from my fren Kv Belho,an Angami from Nagaland.
    I think he is right tosome extend….but i truly and from the bottom of my heart don’t think he is completly right. Yeah!!! If i were to have a wife, i would certainly like someone who is earned and also would really love her more if she can provide me my needs….cause i’m a born MCP……

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